Inexcusable

After watching the hit Willis McGahee took from Ryan Clark in the closing minutes of the AFC Championship game, I couldn't help but think about those rules that were put in place to prevent helmet to helmet collisions. Watching the replay over and over, it really looked like Clark's only goal was to hit with his helmet and shoulder, he wasn't trying to wrap up the ball carrier at all. Screw what Phil Simms said about it being a clean tackle. That was a 'Lead-with-the-helmet' hit if I ever saw one. I think that if you are willing to hit someone like that, you need to be thrown out of the league. You are too dangerous to yourself and others to deserve the privilege to play in the NFL. I'm sorry, but when you are willing to end someones career as very well could have happened with that hit, you forfeit your rights to play. Even if my favorite player landed a hit like that, that's just uncalled for. At the very least, he should have been flagged for unnecessary roughness.

What is it about the underdog?

Here I am sitting in front of my big screen HDTV watching the Titans score their first touchdown against the Ravens and I find myself damn near booing the TV...then I realized something, at the beginning of the year when the Titans went 10-0 I was rooting for them. Hell, I wanted them to go all the way that early in the season. Why the sudden change in attitude? I then looked at the schedule for this weekend and realized something, in all the games this week I'm rooting for the underdog. I want Baltimore to topple top seeded Tennessee. I want the lowly Cardinals to pummel Carolina (and ultimately win the Super Bowl). I want Philly to crush New York (well, that's natural as my hatred of Eli Manning is far from a secret), and I want the Bolts to zap the Steelers (again, not too shocking as I don't want any team to get more super bowl rings than the team I root for...and there's a hint as to my team of choice). So, what is it about the underdog that gets me going? I guess it's the love of seeing cages get rattled. But here's the real kicker though...this seems to be a recurring theme with most people out there...everyone wants to see the champs fall. Always. Is it human nature to like to stir up trouble and break the norm or is it American nature? Either way...damn it Baltimore, get it in gear and it's time for me to grab another brew and a fist full of chips.

You know you're a douche bag when....

...you get this tattooed on yourself.



On and BTW...Nice Dino's Pizza tattoo DOUCHE!

The Candy Man

That's what J.T. O'Sullivan should be called, because anytime he's on the field he's sure to give up something sweet to the defense. Leading the NFL in interceptions thrown, leading the NFL in fumbles, worst passer rating in the 4th quarter in the NFL. It's time for the douchetastic coach Mike Nolan to change careers to something he can handle, like selling hot dogs in the stands (but first, put Shaun Hill in as starting QB, he was able to produce wins at the end of last year).

It's high time for some house cleaning in Ninerville...starting with new owners, a new front office, a new head coach, a new offensive cordinator (sorry Mike Martz, everyone knows how to defend your shit-hole scheme...pressure the QB because you never do anything to the outside to keep the D-line honest) and draft a real QB that plays in a pro-style offense in college (unlike Alex Smith).

Don't Blog In The Nude

As some of you know, Washington Redskins' douchetastic tight end Chris Cooley likes to blog. What you didn't know is HOW he likes to blog.

Yesterday afternoon Chris Cooley posts on his website a picture of himself studying the Redskins playbook IN THE NUDE!!! When Cooley realized he'd flashed his little rice kernel over the Internet, he apologized immediately: "All apologies from the website. … We did not want to offend anyone. The picture wouldn’t have been up for so long, but we were in the middle of winning a big game. Once again, this was a complete accident, and we regret not reviewing the post more closely."

Wait....Was this taken in the locker room? If so, nothing says "sausage fest" more than 250 lb football players sitting around nude studying their playbook.

For a look at the picture, I direct you here. It is a little NSFW, and I do mean little.

Source: Yahoo Sports

Like the 2000 Presidential Election....RIGGED!

Is it me? Or was the Chargers vs. Bronco's game COMPLETELY RIGGED?!?!!

In the first quarter of the game, FUMBLE by San Diego!!! Or was it?!?!?! Norv Turner challenged the play. TV replays showed San Diego's Chris Chambers elbow on the grass while he had possession of the football as Bronco's Champ Bailey was trying to strip it away. The ball would have been marked as down, but the replay booth's machinery just HAPPENED to malfunction. So how about using the TV replays? Nope, can't do that! The NFL Officials don't have access to that. After two minutes of bullshitting, the call on the field stood. Denver had the ball at the Chargers 29.

But wait....That's not all!

Late in the fourth quarter on the Chargers 1 yard line.....Jay Cutler showed off his butter finger skills and fumbles the ball, only to be scooped up by San Diego linebacker Tim Dobbins. Everyone knew it was a fumble. Even Jay Cutler agreed in his douchetastic voice, "Fumble, I think." The ref blew his whistle when the ball came out, ruling it as an incomplete pass. A review showed that it should have been ruled a fumble. Because instant replay rules are lame, they don’t allow the opponent to gain possession in such situations. My FAVORITE PART is when the Ref came out and said, "All we can do to fix it is put the ball at the spot that it hit the ground, which is why we moved it back to the 10-yard line and the down counts and it becomes third down." WTF??!?!

After that the Broncos scored, and did the two point conversion for the win.

Now do we really need more proof that the NFL is rigged? I mean seriously. This is about as rigged as the 2000 Presidential Election....Or American Idol.

Dumb Ass

Attention whore for the Cincinnati Bengals, Chad Johnson, has legally changed his name. He is now known as "Chad Javon Ocho Cinco". The attention whore can now proudly display "Ocho Cinco" on his jersey like he did two years ago before the kick off of a game.

I am honestly convinced that the NFL puts something in the water that they give to make their players have multiple personalities. First Deion Sanders, then Terell Owens, then Brett Favre, now Chad Johnson! WTF?!??!

When asked why he did it one of Chad Johnson's personalities said, "It’s something I don’t think anyone has ever done before. Have I ever had a reason for why I do what I do? I’m having fun." I know what you can do for fun Chad....Walk in front of a bus! Why not?

Source: Yahoo Sports

We're back!

Like herpes....We're back!

Sorry for being away for so long, things happen....You have to deal with em. Blah blah blah, you don't want to hear about any of this. So we'll just give you what you really want.

And while we were gone....Brett Favre....You're a weenie.

Please retire

Dear Junior Seau,

You are one of the greatest line backers and history. But you know what....I don't like you. Why?

I think it started out for me back in 2002 when the Chargers were going against the Raiders, and you made a bet with then KUSI Sportscaster C.S. Keys (a Raiders fan) that you would dye your hair blonde if you guys lost to the Raiders. Well no shocker, the Chargers DID lose, and did you hold up to your promise? No. Like a little girl, you cried and refused to have your hair dyed. Shortly there after, you then got traded to the Dolphins. After your dismal years in Miami, you announced your retirement to the world in 2006.

But I guess making money from your Seau's resturaunt in San Diego just isn't enough. So then being the money-grubbing wanker that you are, you come out of retirement to get on a "Super Bowl" team. Only bad thing is that in 2006, you hurt yourself. Then in 2007, I remember you crying and hold Bill Bellicheck's hand saying "thank you", but just when you think you are going to win the Super Bowl, you have your ass handed to you by captain douchebag himself: Eli Manning and the NY Giants.

Now its up in the air if you are going to return for your 19th Season in the NFL. Junior: do yourself, your team, your fans, and the NFL a favor....RETIRE! You are a cry baby wanker that should be staying at home on his couch in the fetal position sucking your thumb like your normally do.

Source: Boston.Com

Vanderjagt plays in CFL. US relieved

Once named the most accurate kicker in the NFL, and after being cut by the Dallas Cowboys, Mike Vanderjagt returns to professional football to the only place that likes him: Canada.

Mike Vanderjagt has signed with the Toronto Argonauts, a team he use to play for back in the mid-80's before he left to go to the NFL for "fame and fortune". “When you fish and golf enough and you’re only 38 years old and you feel you can still do it. I miss the area and I miss my family and friends. It became a good opportunity, assuming Toronto wanted me, to be able to kick for a few more years," Mike Vanderjagt said in a press conference.

So I guess being called the "idiot kicker who got liquored up and ran his mouth off a lot" by Peyton Manning, being cut by the Dallas Cowboys, and attending training camps with the Broncos and the Kansas City Chiefs only no not get signed, and your depleting bank account; didn't make you want to go to Canada like a little baby? Riiiiight.

Source: Yahoo Sports

Who makes these decisions?

Its battle of the pud wackers, as Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton battle for the starting quarterback position. Why am I being so harsh? Lets take a look at how the quarterback situation went down last year: Rex Grossman was the starter, then lost it to Brian Griese, then Rex regained the starting position once Griese got injured, then Grossman fell down and cried like a little girl, and Orton took the position over.

First of all, if you loose the starting quarterback job to Brian Griese....You suck. Like REALLY bad. Second, what the hell are the Bears doing with only two quarterbacks? Oh yeah I forgot you guys just got done over paying your prize kicker, giving him a deal that's $15.5 MILLION DOLLARS over 5 years. Yet you can't even renegotiate a decent-sized contract for your all-star linebacker.

Who the hell makes these decisions? Can someone PLEASE fire all of the general management staff of the Chicago Bears and get someone who knows what the hell they are doing.

Cry me a river...

So I read an article today on NFL.COM, and was laughing my ass off. I immediately sent this article to my colleague Sports Assassin, and we both began almost pissing our pants in laughter.

Vince Young, are you REALLY that much of a pussy? You considered leaving the NFL after ONE YEAR of being in the NFL.?

"I really thought long and hard about it. There was so much going on with my family. It was crazy being an NFL quarterback. It wasn't fun anymore. All of the fun was out of it. All of the excitement was gone. All I was doing was worrying about things," Vince Young said.

WHAT THE FUCK??!?!!! Vince, buddy...You get paid MILLIONS OF DOLLARS to go to work with a bunch of friends, get coached my some old farts, look at hot chicks prancing around with pom poms, and throw an inflated ball of pig skin across a thick white line. How tough is that? You were also the Madden Cover Boy in your rookie year, that is AMAZING!!!

"My teammates helped lift me out of it. I prayed really hard. And I began to focus on God's calling for me. Play football. Be a role model."

Well at least your team came to your rescue and slapped some sense into, instead of slapping you on the ass with their towels. I really hope this is the last of you crying, Vince. After all, you HAVE BEEN a cry baby all your life.


Source: NFL.COM

The NFL needs more money

Commissioner Roger Goodell is letting everyone know that the NFL means business and is therefore going to start fining teams that has players were suspended for disciplinary reasons.

Goodell says:

“We want to continue to emphasize personal conduct and personal responsibility. One way to do it is to hold teams responsible for the conduct of their players."

So what happens if an NFL team doesn't suspend their players for disciplinary reasons? Does that mean they don't need pay the fine to the NFL? Also how much is the fine going to be? Will it be minimal like the fine that Bill Belichick received for spying on another team?

Source: Yahoo Sports

Tony Romo....Just stop.

Seriously. STOP! RIGHT NOW! Just because you are sleeping with one of the hottest pop singers out there (Jessica Simpson), DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN SING!

I would say I want to strangle Tony Romo, but no. He is just taking advantage of an opportunity that some jackass gave him. I mean who wouldn't want to sing during the 7th inning stretch of a pro baseball game? You know I have a feeling that Jessica Simpson's Dad, Joe Simpson, is behind this. He is responsible for the trash that his two daughters Jessica and Ashley put out!

DAMN YOU PAPA JOE! DAMN YOU!!!!

Source: Yahoo Sports

More proof that NFL players get paid too much

Chicago Bears kicker Robbie Gould has become the highest paid kicker in the NFL. Robbie Gould has agreed to a five year, $15.5 million deal (which includes a $4.25 million signing bonus) on Monday with Duh Bears (that was a mis-type but it made me laugh so I am leaving it). His deal with Duh Bears (nah that was on purpose) is good until 2013.

Wow a $15.5 million contract just to kick a FUCKING BALL! That's all this guy does is kick a ball. He isn't going to get tackled, on purpose at least. This guy has it easy. I am sure he is sitting on his yacht in the Caribbean right now, sipping on a martini with his pinky out, laughing at Duh Bears management.

Dale Earnhardt Racing, TAKE A SEAT!!!

There is a new Sherriff in town. His name is Randy Moss.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, New England Patriots wide receiver Randy Moss is forming a NASCAR racing team. Moss Motorsports will be competing in NASCAR's Craftsman Truck series in the 2009 season. "We don't have all of the details in place just yet, but I am very excited about Moss Motorsports becoming a part of NASCAR," Moss said. "I am by nature a very competitive person, and this is an outlet for me to compete at another level."

Has anyone told Randy that they don't race Lincoln Navigators or Cadillac Escalades in NASCAR? Also is it me, or does the name Moss Motorsports just seem like a brand of seat covers you would find at K-Mart?

Although I think his run in NASCAR will be as successful as Motley Crue's Vince Neil's racing team, my hat is off to Randy and his new venture into NASCAR. Something like this is a lot better than pulling a Timothy Worley and having your constant run ins with the law.

Source: Autoweek

TO in TrOuble?

Yes, Terrell Owens, that loud mouth, trash talking, ball dropping buffoon is in trouble again. The problem this time? He kept bonus money from the Philadelphia Eagles that he has been ordered to repay! Remember when he got suspended because of his behavior (I know, what a shocker, eh?) mid-way through 2005 and then released? He was ordered through arbitration to pay back $1.7 million in bonus money, but he's decided to keep nearly $770,000 of it for himself...so this time it looks like they are going to court. I guess since his play making abilities are slipping, he has to get bad publicity elsewhere.

Source: ESPN

Madden Curse? What Madden Curse?

This year EA Sports has decided to give the finger to anyone that believes in the Madden Curse. They have decided to put someone on the cover that the Madden Curse will not be able to touch. Someone, who in my opinion, should have been on there YEARS ago. April 25, 2008 EA Sports announced the new cover boy of its next iteration in its popular Madden series. The cover boy of Madden 2009 is.....Brett Favre.

Yup. I can hardly believe it either.

So what does this mean??? Is the Madden Curse broken? Yes and no. Players that have graced the cover of Madden have generally failed to reproduce their success of their previous years. Well Brett Farve being retired, he has nothing to worry about. However unless EA Sports is going to make retired players as their "cover boys", I can assure you the curse is now PISSED! Whoever EA Sports will choose as the the Madden 2010 "cover boy", is going to be FUCKED!

Frankly, I think Archie Manning has something to do with this. He made sure Eli Manning didn't get drafted to the San Diego Chargers, and for some reason Eli isn't the cover boy on Madden 09. DAMN YOU ARCHIE MANNING!

Source: NBC Sports

Seahawks cut Alexander. Alexander surprised.

Okay this is kind of old news. However since the Seahawks are my favorite team, I HAD to write about it.

Wednesday April 23, 2008 the Seattle Seahawks released former MVP running back Shaun Alexander. Two years prior to his release, he signed a $62 million contract become the franchise player.

Now gee, I wonder WHY he was cut. In 2005 he became the NFL MVP and a Super Bowl apperarence. Since then its been down hill. The last two seasons have been horrid in terms of performance and full of injuries for Alexander. In the last two years, he rushed for a around 1600 yards, compared to his 1690 yards rushed in 2004 then his 2005 MVP performance of 1880 yards.

I am actually surprised that the Seahawks kept him that long. Mike Holmgren and the rest of the Seahawks must have really liked him. Its not like they didn't give him a chance to improve. He had two full seasons!

Like George Michael, Shaun Alexander is making a come back! Well so he claims. "I will be playing for another NFL team this fall and doing everything I can to contribute," Alexander told the Associated Press. My guess is that will include passing out water to the player has he sits on the sidelines.

Source: Kansas City Star

Will they ever learn?

Just because you are a celebrity you are not above the law. I'm talking about Kenton Keith and his run in with the law Sunday night. Apparently he was out clubbing at Cloud 9 in Indianapolis and decided that he didn't have to leave after the place closed at 3:00am like everyone else has to because...and I quote..."I'm a Colts player!" So, I have to ask...so what? You are a person that has been asked by authorities to leave the premise as is required by everyone, so leave already. But that's not all, as you'd expect, he claimed that he was innocent, however, the list of charges suggests otherwise. He was charged with misdemeanor counts of disorderly conduct, resisting law enforcement, public intoxication and contributing to the delinquency of a minor, because a man he brought to the club with him was 19.

But remember everyone, he's a Colts player so therefore he's innocent. Just like Michael Vick and OJ Simpson are innocent too.


Source: ESPN News